年

30, 2010, 3600000; age, year, yen. It's also the year of the Tiger. I wish it was the year of the Lion, but I will settle for a sweet sweet T-shirt I bought in Thailand with a giant Lion's head on BOTH sides (same picture). I sat a lot while traveling in Thailand, and when I got home I stretched myself into a very sore pelvis/hip. I could barely move for three days. I mean really, it hurt to move. I now feel an empathetic connection to people who take life slower because of injuries or handicaps. Who would want to go back across the room for their cellphone when every step causes distress? The best laid plans of mice and men, how many are hatched with the economy of pain avoidance in the subconscious mind?
I feel I should post more words to this blog. Seems a kind of malaise keeps me from doing so. A rhetorical confusion is the best excuse I can come up with. My discoveries over the past two years seem so obvious now, I feel a little ashamed to write about them, or perhaps they are so obvious it would take too long to write about them. It seems almost baffling to me that my education lacked certain elements. Like maybe somebody saying “ummm...exactly what connections do the words in your head have with your daily existence?”
I just read an article about how much debt countries are accruing to get through the Great Recession. Internet apprised me of this. I had never thought before about countries defaulting on their loans, but it happened quite a few times on this nifty bar graph they drew. So if you are a keen investor, you can make a lot of money shorting a country. You know, buying options and betting that the nation will have to borrow a lot of money at a high interest rate in a short amount of time. If you are on the list for those government bonds, then you are going to make a wad. Shorting an entire economy; phenomenal. It is also cool how other nations may be compelled to borrow money in dollars, which they lack the authority to print more of. I never thought about our position as printer of the world’s money. How great is that for us? But also, 45% of our public debt is held by foreign countries. Anyway, who knows what the Federal Reserve is doing about this, because Congress doesn't get to audit the Federal Reserve.
My family sent me a nice card that quotes Emily Dickinson: "I dwell in possibilities." The one thing I know about Emily is that she lived most of her life as a shut-in, away from the outside world. I love the possible, but I feel this year will be about making the possible, probable. To actualize I suppose I must choose a possibility and go forth with it, not really knowing what will happen. I have been so obsessed with wanting the penultimate surety, I have many times stifled the reality, tempered presence with that feeling of “is this right? Am I doing this right?” I guess I must now admit the script is lost, and the curtain of 2010 is rising.